WALL writings.

Humanity.

2012-02-09T10:55:00.000+08:00

They Are Watching.

2012-02-08T13:11:00.001+08:00

"We need to better understand the youth of today. I think from their viewpoint, we must have looked like cavemen, set in our prehistoric ways.

I recall trying and failing badly, attempting to teach my kids Maths. The answers were right, but the techniques I used confused them and differed from what their teachers taught at school.

Back in the office, thinking to myself, I realised that I have experience and knowledge, but somehow I was not getting through to the people on the ground. Something was missing. I needed an interpreter.

A lot of us have children. Have you ever tried to decode the SMS your kids send you? Lol, lmao, wth, omg, abd. There are others, but I won't attempt to list them all. I guess it's also about communication. I'm sure for all of us graduands here, going through this course gave us a better insight into teaching our curriculum.

We now find ourselves better equipped, but remember, we now have new tools in our toolbox. What we have to decide now is, do we continue to use a butter knife to loosen that screw or do we use an electric screwdriver? The choice is ours to make and they (our trainees) are watching."

I See Things My Way.

2012-02-03T00:01:00.000+08:00

Don't tell me how should I have done it. I see things my way.

Don't tell me to understand the other person's point of view. I see things my way.

Don't tell me your views and your perceptions. I see things my way.

Don't explain what was the situation. I see things my way.

Don't comment on my attitude. I see things my way.

Unhappy? Do it yourself.

Love Yourself And Not Let Others Bring You Down.

2012-02-02T19:41:00.001+08:00

Say if you are being ignored and you feel that someone does not want to talk to you anymore, and its obvious, do you still go talk to them and question them of their sudden change?

Isn't it stupid because that someone does not want any awkwardness, that he quietly and subtly turn cold, and you still continue to pursue the reason behind that change? Just take it that there is a difference and move on. Nobody stays the same.

And there is a difference between reporting at 7.30am or 11.30am. You are saying there is no difference because you have to be there at 7.30. But are you staying till the whole thing ends? No. So when I leave at 11pm and when you leave at 4pm, is there a difference? Oops, it never crossed your righteous mind.

Not bothered if you get pissed by this because, I don't care.

Wisdom In Words.

2012-01-30T23:00:00.001+08:00

You Saved My Life, Again.

2012-01-27T16:11:00.000+08:00

A fox sitting on rocks in Svalbard, Norway.

Tengmalm's owl, also known as a boreal owl (Aegolius funereus), is watching from her nest. A carpenter for this nest was a black woodpecker (Dryocopus martius). Picture was taken in Finland, which is a paradise for northern owls.

A green turtle hatchling was gasping for air after its struggle to get to the water from the sand.

Man jumping from rock to rock on Preikestolen, in Kjerag, Lysefjorden, Norway.

Pullikali artists painted as tigers transform the road into a carnival on 26th August 2010 at Thrissur, Kerala. Puli Kali also known as Kaduvakali is a colorful recreational folk art from the state of Kerala. It is performed by trained artists to entertain people on the occasion of Onam, an annual harvest festival, celebrated mainly in the Indian state of Kerala. On the fourth day of Onam celebrations (Nalaam Onam), performers painted like tigers and hunters in bright yellow, red, and black dance to the beats of instruments like Udukku and Thakil.

From National Geographic.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/

What Love Is

2011-12-31T20:56:00.000+08:00

What love means to age 4 to 8 year old children.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does Love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

See what you think:

'When my Grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his Hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
Rebecca, 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
Billy, 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
Karl, 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of theirs.'
Chrissy, 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
Terri, 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
Danny, 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.'
Emily, 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
Bobby, 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
Nikka, 6
(We need a few million more Nikka's on this planet.)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
Noelle, 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'
Tommy, 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
Cindy, 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody you don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
Clare, 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
Elaine, 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than
Robert Redford.'
Chris, age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
Mary Ann, 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
Lauren, 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'
Karen, 7
(What an image.)

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
Mark, 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you
should say it a lot. People forget.'
Jessica, 8

And the final one:

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

National Geographic.

2011-12-27T00:07:00.001+08:00

Hassan II Mosque, Casablanca, Morocco

Photograph by Mark Harmsen, My Shot.
This image was taken at the Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, Morocco. It is the country's largest mosque and the fifth largest in the world. This woman was running late for a prayer session.

Ischia, Italy

Photograph by Giuseppe Greco, My Shot.
Church sunrise.

Oia, Santorini, Greece

Photograph by Virgil Cheung, My Shot.
Buildings.

Zakynthos, Greece

Photograph by Adrian Robert Nanu, My Shot.
Navagio Beach.

Oceanic Whitetip Shark, Bahamas

Photograph by Brian Skerry, National Geographic.
Oceanic whitetip shark and diver in the Bahamas.

Blacktip Reef Shark, Maldives

Photograph by Paul Wilkinson, Your Shot.
Smaller fish keep their distance when a blacktip reef shark swims amongst them in shallow water in the Maldives.

Jellyfish Lake, Palau

Photograph by Tomas Kotouc, My Shot.
Jellyfish float in Jellyfish Lake on Eli Malk island in the Republic of Palau.

Frog and Crocodile, South Africa

Photograph by Jonathan Blair, National Geographic.
A year-old Nile crocodile attempts to snap up a frog in the St. Lucia Estuary. Part of the iSimangaliso Wetland Park, which UNESCO named a World Heritage site in 1999, the protected area is AfricaÕs largest estuarine system.

Lemurs, Madagascar

Photograph by Stephen Alvarez, National Geographic.
Decken's sifakas appear right at home in their karst home in western Madagascar. These lemurs live among the unusual pinnacles of the Tsingy de Bemaraha, which started to form 1.8 million years ago as groundwater dissolved and shaped the porous limestone.

Timber Wolves

Photograph by Jacqueline Crivello, Your Shot.
The secret behaviors of the timber wolves revealed in this photograph ascribe almost human attributes within the realm of affection and offerings of familial respect. We see activity pictured that normally stays well hidden from the human eye. It touches our heart and leaves us feeling as though a pet has just wandered through our mind leaving a lasting impression as less than fearless creature, but a caring and giving huggable friend. Yet their complexities we know exist.

Cotton Grass, Iceland

Photograph by Jennifer Jesse.
This photograph was taken in July of 2010 while hiking in a region of Iceland called Landmannalaugar. People come to this area in order to see the colorful rhyolite mountains. During our trip we had come across small amounts of cotton grass along the roads, but I never expected to see such a huge field of it. This image represents what Iceland is all about. Just when you think the landscape can't surprise you any more, something else even more amazing comes along.

Goat Herder, Cava d'Ispica, Italy

Photograph by Antonino Belfiore, My Shot.
Shot in Cava d'Ispica, a fascinating valley close to the town of Ispica, Sicily. The valley presents a variety of cliff dwellings and rock-cut tombs dating from the Bronze Age.

From National Geographic.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/

High Conc. Matcha Milk Candy.

2011-11-21T16:57:00.000+08:00

Talking In Italian.

2011-11-15T16:54:00.000+08:00

Mutants!

2011-11-13T18:30:00.000+08:00

It Means No Worries.

2011-11-07T09:32:00.000+08:00

I don't really believe in 1186, but the rest, I hold so true to my heart.

This Is So Humourously True.

2011-11-06T17:47:00.000+08:00

Chain of Command.
Based on a drawing done by another artist featuring bird shit. In NS context, it would be something like that. Top command, men at the bottom and finally the backstabber who used fellow men as human shield.

Return The Favour.

2011-11-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

But people took advantage of it until you grow to be bitter.

Something Interesting.

2011-11-04T16:52:00.000+08:00

They Don't Understand Life.

2011-11-03T19:00:00.000+08:00

Take A Deep Breath.

2011-11-02T21:28:00.000+08:00

I listened to the local radio earlier today. It is one day after my driving test.

The deejays were talking about being positive, motivated and inspired for the day.

"Tell yourself today will be a good day and everything will just fall into place naturally. Everything will be good and then you will realise that the day was really good at the end of it." The topic was about being positive then you will look at the bright side of things.

Suddenly one of the deejay asked, isn't it sad you have to remind yourself you have to look at the bright side of things and the positivity and happiness you enjoy is not from your most true self.

I haven't have any deep thoughts about this, but for now, I think I can try to tell myself that everything will go well in the end. The only thing I am sure right now, is that I feel emotionally stretched since the start of the week. I think I can try to remind myself that the day I wake up to will be a good one.

Now, I don't know what to feel. I am a little sick of making someone, others or myself, responsible for the things that didn't go well. Like there is a need to make someone bear all the fault, which when you think about it, changes nothing about the fault.

Anyway, this Daily Inspiration and Motivation photo album on facebook does offer some really nice and meaningful quotes, like the one above, and maybe it can be nice to remind yourself to be positive for a day.

Without You.

2011-10-25T18:36:00.003+08:00

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No.
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: Then okay.

Dad goes to Bill Gates.

Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No.
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Then okay.

Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.

Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No.
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then okay.

This is BUSINESS.

Sunday.

2011-10-16T16:09:00.000+08:00

Corn And Tequila.

2011-10-14T21:33:00.000+08:00

On a crisp October evening, families crowd the Zócalo to look at tombstones. Rows of these mock monuments stand on a carpet of colored sawdust strewn with marigolds and painted skulls.

French poet André Breton famously called Mexico the surrealist country par excellence, and the capital seems to revel in its strangeness. The world’s third largest urban area (by some estimates) fills a highland basin 2240m above sea level, so you might already feel a bit light-headed upon arrival. Often described as a malevolent maelstrom of unbreathable air and rampant crime, the city nevertheless impresses visitors as a wonderfully weird and welcoming world, and captivates them with its year-round springlike climate, bubbling street life and abundant cultural offerings.

Like any great metropolis, Mexico City presents a mosaic of scenes. One moment you’re knocking back tequila at a grand old cantina, the next you’re grooving to world-class DJs on a rooftop terrace. Breakfast on tamales and atole (a drink made from corn) from a street corner vendor, dine on fusion cuisine by one of Polanco’s acclaimed chefs. After an afternoon spent sharing the anguish of artist Frida Kahlo, watch masked wrestlers inflict pain on one another at the lucha libre (wrestling) arena downtown. To be sure pollution and crime remain real concerns for Chilangos, but since the turn of the millennium, there’s been a palpable sense that the capital has turned a page. Rather than heading for the apocalypse, it now seems destined for a renaissance.

Palenque, Chiapas, Mexico

Stone sculpture at the El Palacio, where archeologists and astronomers believe that the tower was constructed so that Mayan royalty and the priest class could observe the sun falling directly into the Templo de los Inscripciones during the northern winter solstice - Palenque, Chiapas.

Copper Canyon, Mexico

Overhead of Satevo mission church, Copper Canyon.

Ensenada, Mexico

Small country church near Ensenada.

Sierra de la Giganta, Mexico

Mision San Luis Gonzaga, Sierra de la Giganta.

Zócalo, Mexico City

Metropolitan Cathedral (Cathedral Metropolitana) from Zocalo.

Zócalo, Mexico City

Overhead of ceremonial lowering of Mexican flag in the Zócalo (main city square), Mexico City.

Aztecs, Mexico

Conchero dancer (Aztecs) with feathers and shells.

Shaman, Mexico City

Shaman treats two visitors to Mexico City.

Basilica de Guadalupe, Mexico City

Native dancers from Tlaxcala, dressed in ribboned headwear, performing outside Basilica de Guadalupe.

From Lonely Planet.
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/mexico/mexico-city

Tell Me How You Gonna Live Without Me.

2011-10-11T14:54:00.000+08:00

Polar Bear and Cub, Svalbard

As we watched from our Zodiac, this polar bear gave her cub a lift as she swam across the fjord, shaking herself dry after emerging from the water with her cub hanging on. Polar bear cubs have been known to occasionally ride on the backs of their mothers as they swim together in Arctic waters, possibly to reduce exposure to cold.

I Can Feel Your Halo.

2011-10-10T13:05:00.000+08:00

A monochromatic pair of Scottish Terriors sitting on the pavement by a wooden bench seat.

Just Because You Think I Might.

2011-10-09T21:21:00.001+08:00

You Don't Have To Worry.

2011-10-09T19:33:00.000+08:00

Quite True Now.

2011-10-08T23:05:00.001+08:00

Warm & Fuzzy.

2011-10-07T21:13:00.000+08:00

On an orange post-it.

My Hands And The World.

2011-10-05T19:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, but I like this picture quite a bit.

Keeps The Humour At Bay.

2011-10-04T14:27:00.000+08:00

A Picture A Day.

2011-10-02T18:26:00.001+08:00

That's Life For You.

2011-09-22T14:31:00.000+08:00

What If I Have Fur.

2011-09-18T11:42:00.000+08:00

These are some pictures that caught my attention more than the other pictures, when I was reading travel tips and articles from Lonely Planet online.

1. Emperor Penguin chick, Dawson-Lambton Glacier, Weddell Sea.

I can't stand it. Sooo cuteee. Reminds me of Mumble in Happy Feet. Little grey furball. I can totally put the furball in my empty drawer. Fat guy.

2. Grizzly bear fishing at waterfall.

Salmons have to swim against the current but I never expect them to conquer miniature waterfalls. Imagine you are a salmon, swimming against the current just to spawn then while you are at the most difficult part of the journey, which is jumping up the waterfall, you just end up in a bear's mouth. Just imagine that. Sucks to be the salmon.

3. White-faced Capuchin laying on a branch in a tropical rainforest.

The way this guy lies on the branch, its like the most comfortable, most safe way of lying on a branch, if there are many different ways of lying on branches. Hahaha. Like a lazy man lying on a hammock, but not quite like it.

4. Monkeys at the temple complex.

Is this a stunt? Like those acts where there are many people on one motorcycle. See how they just entangle themselves. Nice fur, by the way.

5. Rescued baby white-handed gibbons at the Gibbon Rehabilitation Centre, Phuket, Thailand.

This is so cute. So human-like. The way the right guy looks, like he totally know what is yawning, like he has a thought in his head. So furry.

6. Herd of African Elephants at Harpoor Waterhole.

The elephant calf skidded like he is a racing car. Elephant calves are quite cute. Like miniature beings with long nose. Okay, the calves are quite big too. I mean, a miniature giant. Like... I think you know what I mean.

7. A ride through this stunning part of Italy is a happy combination of idyllic Tuscan landscape seen from the backs of fine horses and a chance to study some of the world’s great art treasures in Florence and Siena.

Soul-capturing picture. It's like I don't mind my soul wandering around heaven if heaven looks like that. I mean, I think you can just roll from one hill to another. Or be running around the whole place like a teletubby. Or I can just lie on my back and watch the clouds roll in the sky.

8. Lovely ladies: fruit sellers in Cartagena, Colombia.

Colombia and the Caribbean, the whole of South America has interest me for the longest time. I don't know what is it, but I think its the culture, the people who seems and have been said to be the friendliest, the music, the dance, or the food that makes me want to visit that land. Can someone accompany me for a backpack around the whole continent, like a three months walkabout?

9. Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) colours the night sky through a silhouetted forest.

I can't wait to see the northern lights when I have to be in Norway. Actually, I think its not "when I have to be there" but "when I am finally there". Imagine, seeing the night sky with streaks of luminous lights, neon green, bright orange, bright pink. How magical can that be? I, can't, wait.

Try reading some of the tips and articles at Lonely Planet online. Example here is for the Asia region. You can select the specific country you are interested in, or you can choose a region. They discuss about journeys through the air, land and water (like railway travel for scenic views, things like that), food, festivals, islands, experiences and architecture. I must say, they are really nice to read, engaging and informative.

Note to self: I want to go to Thailand for Phi Ta Khon.

What If I Grow A Moustache?

2011-08-28T20:35:00.003+08:00

An interesting post I found but am too lazy to share: http://www.rojaksite.com/moustaches-make-a-difference/

Moustaches make a difference.

Design Inspirations Maybe?

2011-08-28T19:51:00.005+08:00

I decide to arrange my bookmarks in my internet browser because there are too many bookmarks.

And, I found these pictures! Tees that have nice designs but I somehow I only save the links to the pictures and so I don't know which blogshop is selling these. And then they look so cool, like maybe they can provide inspirations to some designing but I don't feel like saving them as files. So I am going to put them here. I think they will be forgotten but I don't care, I just want to clear all my bookmarks!

---

And then there are some quotes from tumblr too.

One More Country Visited.

2011-07-23T17:20:00.008+08:00

A gallery of Polaroids, photos taken from my overseas trip.

-

My New Zealand trip was totally unforgettable. It was really really fun. Went round the whole south island. Did my first bungee jumping, first luge ride, first jetboating, first rafting and first skiing experience. First time walking on glacier, first time biting glacier ice. Walking on the world's steepest street. It was really really fun. June 2008.

-

My second time to Australia, with the SA canoeing team. It was fun going overseas with your team, everybody just hanging around each other. Paddling in the winter water, without life jacket. Warming up in the team's windbreaker but the body still feeling cold. Nice! December 2008.

-

My second time to Taiwan as well. This was for military training. It was a time where training was fun, spending the whole time with everyone you trained hard with. It was like a big big family, looking out for each other, or just horsing around. November 2010.

-

My most recent trip, a vacation to Hainan. First time to China, it was really an eye-opener. Was really nice relaxing after months of non-stop hard work. Worth the time because the pace of life is really different than that in Singapore; you can really relax. July 2011.

-
And it seems that I fancy going to places that happen to be islands. So maybe Bali next?

Magic Magic Magic.

2011-07-03T18:23:00.001+08:00

"No," she answered. "My mom would like you because you've made me happier in the last two weeks than I have been in the last five years."

Taylor could only stare at her, humbled by the emotion behind her words. She was so honest, so vulnerable, so incredibly beautiful...

In the glowing candlelight, sitting close, she looked at him squarely, her eyes lit with mystery and compassion, and it was at the moment that Taylor McAden fell in love with Denise Holton.

All the years of wondering exactly what that meant, all the years of loneliness, had led to this place, this here and now. He reached out and took her hand, feeling the softness of her skin as a well of tenderness rose within him.

As he touched her cheek, Denise closed her eyes, willing this memory to last forever. She knew intuitively the meaning of Taylor's touch, the words he'd left unspoken. Not because she'd come to know him so well. She knew because she'd fallen in love with him at exactly the same time.

I Am Stalking You.

2011-06-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

Start.

2011-06-23T14:14:00.000+08:00

If tomorrow is judgement day, and I'm standing on the front line, and the Lord ask me what I did with my life, I will say I spent it with you.

Happily Ever After.

2011-06-16T17:03:00.000+08:00

Down below me were some families, likewise sitting, likewise watching this spectacle but perkier than I was. One child wearing Oshkosh overalls was running in widening circles. He was yelling, "I'm gonna explode!" I nodded at him. Okay with me, kid. You just explode right there. I'm watching, and I've got the good view.

Walk With Me, To The Lighthouse.

2011-06-12T17:02:00.000+08:00

"Why should you have to die on account of me? It ain't fair."

The Blue Man held out his hand. "Fairness," he said, "does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young."

We Lost It To Speed.

2011-06-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

I think everything changed. Personalities changed as well. Everybody's priority shifted. We no longer have anything in common. Its only our past that we share.

I Can't Stand This Cute Thing.

2011-06-06T17:37:00.000+08:00

I'm Into You.

2011-06-05T19:07:00.003+08:00

I Am Fighting Things I Cannot See.

2011-06-04T09:08:00.000+08:00

I had the time of my life.

Wrong, the time of my nsf life. Note, both things are very different.

Anyway, I had imt and range, clearing the second year shooting criteria. I never expected it to be so enjoyable because at the back of my head, there is always a reminder that I have to be the chamber safety specialist. Brings me to my point that the conducting officer is fucked-up. A shooter have to double as the chamber safety specialist. Poor organisation. I can't stand the planning and planner. Urgh.

Hello mr officer, rank does not overrule everything.

Back to the topic, imt and range. Imt was so fun because we got the highest score as a detail. Made up of five sergeants and one lance corporal. The lance corporal was so funny. Hahhaha. No rules man. And then we boast so much that we screwed up for range the next day. What a joke.

I don't understand why I was so bobo this time. I never had problems with shooting until last week. Hey, I was marksman for the atp (combat) okay. The one with hard plate, soft plate and all the load, complete with the rundown from 300m to 200m to 100m then 50m. Marksman for that and when its combat shoot (service) this year, I screwed up so badly. I think because the standard required dropped and I just don't give a damn. Oops. I'm just contented I didn't fail though. $200 flew out from my hands but I don't really regret. What's wrong with me?

One part of the shoot, we have to shoot at 50m from the target. The first target was figure 11, the life-sized target. I missed it and started laughing. Ended up I missed most of my shots for that part. It was really hilarious, but you get me now? I don't understand why I became a bobo shooter.

But the more important part was that we sat down and spent the day talking nonsense. Me with the other nsfs. First time we didn't have different things to do, different places to run to. We didn't have different things in mind and we didn't talk about work and complain how much it sucked. We didn't had to try to understand how tough the other third sergeants had it because our attempts often fail.

It was the first time being able to talk about something we had in common, or at least, something we understood, things 20-year-olds talk about. At my usual day at work, I am working with a 61 year old dxo (He is a very interesting person though. Listens to 987 and starts his messages with 'yo' if the messages are not sent during office hours.), my 46 year old warrant officer (Nothing to comment about him.), my 36 year old captain, one master sergeant and one staff sergeant, both at 26 year old. Note their age and imagine the things they tell me. Most of the time I just smiled back because I have nothing to reply with. (-_-)

And I have to behave a certain way, to appear the role I am thrown into. Not fun at all. Its not my style and I don't like the system in the whole organisation. But on both days, I just relaxed and didn't have to help call this person, find that person and assist in everything the regulars are supposed to do. I still don't understand the system where regulars throw the things they don't like or don't want to do to nsfs. Is it because nsfs have no one to throw to and therefore have to do it, whether reluctant or not. Why is it that regulars can bully nsfs all the time? Mind you, regulars chose these outfield and mud as their careers and they don't like to do it. Joke.

So yup, that day I behaved in my usual self and it felt so good. Its like the nsfs gather together and there was no regulars to make our life terrible for that two days. It was one of the better times I am sure I am going to have out of these two years. I hope everyday could be just as fun and enjoyable.

You And Me.

2011-05-31T18:56:00.000+08:00

I want us to work out.

The Rescue.

2011-05-29T20:41:00.000+08:00

Denise hesitated. What was she doing? Confiding about her son to a man she barely knew, giving voice to things she'd never said in the past - she felt unsteady, like a boulder inching over the edge of a cliff. Yet somehow she wanted to finish what she had started.

My Friends Forever.

2011-05-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

When No One Understands.

2011-05-18T21:16:00.003+08:00

This is not fucking life. Fuck you to the next person that comes to me and tell me "That's life." or "Just chill and relax." Because both remarks do not make any sense at all. First remark, it is people whose actions affect others and consciously or not, these actions are capable of making others feel miserable. So its not life but others fucking you up. Second remark, you will never be able to chill and relax when you are fucking tense and pissed off over things. These comments just make it worse. Like you can't do something and its making you unhappy and someone just do it in front of you because he just want to piss you off. That's the feeling. Its like telling you that hey you over there, control your emotions, when he is very sure you tried and you still can't. You do not advise someone on things to do when that person very well know what he have to do and he can't do it. It doesn't make you any superior telling people what to do.

Work sucks. I looked at the forecast of duty and my name is not in the list and fuck to the officer that wrote in his email, I follow the forecasted name list and appointed those forecasted to be the station i/c. Fuck. You. My name was not even there and hello, the person whose name was officially in the list did not even appear. Excuse: I didn't know. And guess what? No punishment for not being present in camp the whole day. Spectacular. And me, the person who is not due to help out in ippt had to be in charge of the 2.4km station and the sit up station. I have to run between two stations. And I have to cover his jobscope.

Second, the whole alpha just disappeared today, leaving yishun at 12. And they made me go back to camp alone. One person representing the whole of alpha. And the reason they gave that at least one person must return to camp was that victor, the alpha assistant company trainer, or just the alpha warrant officer, wants to criticise the bravo warrant officer and so must have someone there to prevent alpha being commented upon and instead, be able to comment on others. Then for goodness sake, you want to do the criticism, you do the job well yourself and then earn the reason for yourself to do what you want to do. And the fucking bravo warrant officer called my dxo to get me to go back to the training shed because he think I ran off. Balls to you. Your third sergeant didn't even turn up for work the whole day.

I am just sick of tired of these nonsense. Its like all the regulars just play their politics and me just standing in near proximity get caught in this tornado. And among the alpha trainers, I am the only nsf.

Delta.

2011-05-08T11:13:00.000+08:00

We're Drifting Safely Back To Shore.

2011-05-01T23:39:00.001+08:00

Me With Baby 210.

2011-05-01T23:35:00.001+08:00

Flourscent.

2011-04-29T18:43:00.000+08:00

My Mexico.

2011-04-25T20:47:00.000+08:00

Aztec's perform on the sacred precinct of Tenochtitlan in Mexico City's Zocalo.

Only One Thing To Do.

2011-04-25T14:55:00.004+08:00

Okay. Time to set some goals. I think I am whiling my time away, waiting for ord.

Hello ernest leong, stop wasting time.

I have to set myself in doing something meaningful. I am going to have a significant summer.

Driving
I aim to pass my driving by October 2011. Get my class 3 then start learning for class 2b one year later. Then I will drive the mazda3 around town and I can bring all my friends to the places relatively inaccessible and we can eat good food.

Sailing
Start learning: November 2011, after I get my driving license. I am a water sports guy. And sailing seems to be a fun thing to do. Trying to balance the sail until you lie parallel to the water surface, without any support on your back. It seems cool.

Ear piercing
I want to pierce my right tragus by February 2012. I have been thinking, that I pierce my tragus after my ord. Its like a celebration, that I have done with the first part of my liability. That I have served-and-fucked-off. (:

And if at that time, the people refuse to pierce my tragus because they think its too small, _|_. Your cock/breasts is/are the one(s) that's small.

Teeth whitening
March 2012, I have to do my teeth after I ord. I am embarrassed to say, they are freaking yellowish. Hahhaha. I can't stand looking at them anymore and so, I will go for teeth whitening. Anybody got any recommendations? Looking for effective treatment.

Travel
I promised myself too, that I will go travelling after ord. Its a kind of celebration too.

A. Mexico
Maybe before August 2012, before I start school. June to July should be good. I will have to see the climate, and the festivals before I really decide when to go.
I think mexico is a fine place to explore because firstly, it enjoys a cultural blend which is much much more unique than any other country I can think of. You can actually see that in places, mexico can still feel like a forgotten spanish colony, while more than five hundred years after the conquest, the influence of indigenous american culture is all-pervasive. The pyramids, the architecture (early colonial and baroque), the food, the music, the festivals, the natives, the beaches. Oh, so captivating I think mexico is.

Secondly, its a place not many singaporeans are familiar with, I think. So why not explore somewhere everybody don't really know about and bring back stories and souvenirs to share. Hahhaa.

B. Southeast Asia cities / beaches
This, I wish to go with my animal friends, see when they are free. Maybe just before our school term starts. We can go crazy there. Before August 2012, maybe April 2012.
- Indonesia (Jakarta; Bali; Batam)
- Philippines (Manila; Boracay)
- Thailand (Bangkok; Hatyai; Ko Samui; Krabi; Pattaya; Phuket)
I think southeast asia has a lot of nice beaches to offer, and the cities are good to stroll in too. Advantage 1, its close to singapore; its in the region. Advantage 2, the standard of living is not too high there. I think I can still enjoy myself very much with a budget in hand. Advantage 3, it is reachable by budget airlines. Advantage 4, I can be in slippers and boardshorts and I can still fit in perfectly. Don't you just love southeast asia?

C. Hongkong
I may be able to make time after the mid-years. Is mid December of 2012 good?
I just want to be a pig; eat, sleep, shop, eat, sleep and shop some more. Hahaha. Plus, its a place full of attractions. And I want to be in a place where the cantonese spirit is in the air. Cantonese dialect, cantonese food. Charsiew, peking duck, dimsum, wife cakes, egg tarts, pineapple buns, wanton noodles, thick toast. Oh my. Jin deui too! Hou sik!

D. Indochina backpack
April 2013? After I am done with my first year in college.
I want to experience the undeveloped life. The places where technology have not reached it. Where it is really rural and people still uses pencil and paper to write. Where kids run around barefooted. I want to see the lives of people in the region. It will be a nonstop expedition, from thailand to vietnam to laos to cambodia.

Tennis
Start learning: August 2012. I think tennis is a cool sport. I played during physical education in jc but I sucked at it. My whole arm was aching, I kid you not. Hahhaa. Its a sport that require skill and strength. I am interested!

Dancing
Maybe I can start when I am in school, join an interest group or something. Dance in the society's annual concert, if I am good enough! Hahhaa. I am dreaming.

Saxophone
I have been wanting to learn a musical instrument, even though I hated playing the recorder in primary school and in lower secondary classes. I don't want to learn the piano or the guitar. I just think the sound from the saxophone is so sexy maybe it can get me in the mood, omg I am bullshitting now.

Okay. I think I sound stupid now. I can't be doing all these by summer this year. (-_-)

In trying to set the deadlines for myself, I drew out a timeline of what will be my life from now till I graduate from university and I realised, fuck, I will be freaking old when I graduate from university. I will admit into school before 21 and graduate when I am 24?

24! TWENTY FOUR! Twenty four, twenty four, twenty four...

I Want To Travel Badly.

2011-04-25T13:33:00.005+08:00

There is one list of countries I want to visit.

Caribbean

Bahamas

Barbados

Virgin Islands (British & US)
Cuba
Jamaica

Central America

Costa Rica

Honduras

Mexico

South America

Argentina

Bolivia

Brazil

Chile

Peru

Venezuela

Northern America

United States

Central Asia

Kazakhstan

Kyrgyzstan

Tajikistan

Turkmenistan

Uzbekistan

Eastern Asia

Hong Kong
Japan

North Korea

South Korea

Mongolia

Southern Asia

Bhutan

India

Maldives

Nepal
Sri Lanka

South-Eastern Asia

Cambodia

Indonesia

Laos

Myanmar

Philippines

Thailand

Timor-Leste

Vietnam

Western Asia

Azerbaijan

Cyprus

Israel

Turkey

United Arab Emirates

Eastern Europe

Czech Republic

Hungary

Romania

Russia

Northern Europe

Denmark

Finland

Ireland

Norway

Sweden

United Kingdom

Southern Europe

Bosnia And Herzegovina

Croatia

Greece

Italy

Macedonia

Portugal

San Marino

Spain

Western Europe

Belgium

France

Germany

Luxembourg

Monaco

Netherlands

Switzerland

Melanesia

Fiji

Papua New Guinea

Soloman Islands
Vanuatu

Micronesia

Guam

I have this passion to travel right now. Like I want to take off and leave Singapore. Not that Singapore is a lousy place or what, but I want a change in environment. I want to learn new things, I want to see things. I want to experience and I want to discover.

Okay, first on my list is Mexico. Did pretty much research already, but I think I will do more because I think the place is huge and I really must be prepared. Then, I want to go to the Philippines, or maybe the Indochina backpack. Of course, there are the common places like Hongkong and Korea I have to see for myself. Next, I can go to Brazil for the Brazilian Carnival.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, I didn't put Africa in the list because I feel that for countries in Africa, one must have a lot of experience in travel and backpacking. And maybe when I am more at peace with myself, when I found myself, the continent will be a nice place to be with myself.

Now, who's with me for my escapade?

If Colours Make Me Happy.

2011-04-23T20:42:00.004+08:00

I Keep Running Away.

2011-04-17T21:41:00.004+08:00

Now I feel, this one year I spent alone was really time wasted.

To be serious, I was really thinking, thinking about what I really want.

Because I say, everything is going too fast for me for this one month and I can't really digest all of that. I think I did, but no, its too much for me to handle. I haven't really figure out what I wanted and I thought I knew. When I refused for a patch up one year ago, I thought I am finally able to give myself some answers. However, today I realised, they were not answers but were excuses. It was not a decision, but it was something I have felt for a long long time and its just me admitting to these thoughts. There was no decision made, and now I am aware of this fact.

It was just me admitting that I do not want to lead my life like how I did during the last five years. It was admitting to myself that I want to stop all that nonsense, but I think this month, I sunk deeper. I thought I told myself, to let things come naturally. And I told myself, let things fall into their respective place. I will not desire and I will not push. Patiently I will wait for someone to come along and lift me off my feet. For that someone to go after me and for me to feel the same and accept that someone.

And all these, I told myself, I want it to be gradual.

Because I want to be in control, I want to know what is really happening. And I want to know that I am in control of my own feelings, that I know how do I feel and that I am ready to be frank to myself and stop running away.

But I can't help but run away from things I do not want to face.

My bestest friends ask me what is happening in my life now and what are my decisions. And that was when I realised, that I haven't progress. I am still at the start line, square one. I haven't decide what I really wanted because I did not think about all these things that would make me cringe. Its so difficult.

But subconsciously, I think I made up my mind today. Maybe I am not with my final decision but I know, I am on the way and there are those minor decisions I have made so far.

I want to give myself some time. Because I want to be comfortable with everything I decided. So excuse me while I can't give anyone any answer or decision.

I think, I am still afraid of being hurt. And, I am not confident with relationships at this point in time.

You, Fuck Up.

2011-04-17T15:20:00.002+08:00

Seriously.

I Grew Stronger.

2011-03-26T19:36:00.000+08:00

I Curse And I Swear.

2011-02-25T23:23:00.006+08:00

I was having a really really bad week in camp. Booked in on monday to run administrative stuffs and only to be told that I had to follow the crt, company recce team, without any rest before I can move out.

Anyway, the term crt can drive me crazy. I don't care what's the order. Rtc, tcr, ctr, whatever. Friends, better don't bring out these three alphabets.

Many things happened. Believe me when I say many.

My mood was especially bad, even more so when my phone ran out of battery. I was messaging friends throughout my outfield and it helped took my attention away from the fact that I was alone without food and had to move out earlier by one day while the rest are resting comfortably on their beds.

So naturally, when my phone died on me, I got into an all-time-low mood.

I was so depressed that I can't bring myself to smile in reply to others when they talked to me.

Just then this first sergeant came along and asked how I was doing. Right after some scolding and questioning from this old man I absolutely detest. So in the conversation, I voiced my displeasure and went along the lines of why are regulars so hard up on minor things and likes giving nsfs a hard time most of time.

"I mean, you made a choice. You signed up for a career in the army. You made your life decision and this is the career path you set yourself upon. We didn't; this is a liability for us. We didn't have a choice. We have to serve, so it was not our idea to be here. We don't want to be here, really."

"You have a choice."

*shocked face*
"I don't understand."

"Your choice of being a Singaporean,"

He didn't really pause, but I was already boiling up to my neck when I hear the first sentence.

"You could have given up your citizenship in exchange for this two years. Your decision to be a Singaporean, this is what you have to give up. Give and take, this is life."

I can tell you, the anger that I had that moment was so different from those I normally swallow into my stomach. I couldn't take that explanation. I was so mad because I couldn't see this whole system in this angle. It didn't make sense to me, not at all. Whatsmore, I was so pissed with all the shit that I had been doing and this is the kind of explanation a superior wanted me to accept. Never mind he didn't have the intention to make me feel better, but he should be more sensitive, shouldn't he?

Regulars are so fucked up and the only reason I can find why they want to be there, is that they know society will not accept them. This organisation is thus, the rubbish collection point; providing employment for people like that. At least they have a place in an organisation, rather be unemployed and be looked down upon. They are very smart, to recognise their weaknesses. But in the end, while they get advantaged, the organisation becomes disadvantaged.

Greatly disadvantaged.

When The Stars Come Out.

2011-01-30T13:11:00.000+08:00

I always thought that I would find a lover
Someone in this world just meant for me
And when I turn out the lights
I hug my pillow tight
And wonder where
Where or when can he be
Then one night
When all the world was sleeping
I saw your face before me in a dream
And so I dreamt the night away
Of children games I won't play
A little girl a fairy world
And the prince has saved the day

When the stars come out

Feel So Good.

2011-01-16T16:54:00.005+08:00

I was organising my bookmarks in my browser and came across this youtube video.

This is from Singapore's National Day Parade 2009. The reason I am sharing this, lies from 8:28 of the video onwards.

When I grow up, this is a question or a situation young kids always have in their minds. Kids can't wait to grow up and be adults. We like to ask too, what would you want to be? I admit, I had wanted to be a doctor or a pilot. Those prestigious occupations that society looks so highly upon. I had wanted to be a fireworks-maker too. Not anywhere prestigious, but I got fascinated with those pyrotechnical sights. Then, I wanted to be a flight steward because it seems good that you travel to every part of the world for free and have high-end accommodation covered for free.

But actually, no, my purpose for sharing this is not to discuss about my job options. Its just that when the boy says he wants to be the President of Singapore, it makes my heart stirs. I don't know why though. Gave the feeling of tears welling in your eyes.

Well, its good to share something nice, so here it is.

P/s: Letting the video run again, I realised that the emcee has a really nice voice. I like. (:

Picture Perfect.

2010-12-20T20:27:00.018+08:00

It is a thing of the past.

And now, we look forward.

Graduation parade was kind of fun.

Feeling nervous about whether my rifle will be jammed by my lbv, to being proud when the chervons were put onto me, it was definitely my favourite night in my sct career. The last night spent in pasirlaba camp, I saw my professional term friends and their chervons. To those who I disturbed; to those who I confided in; and to those who were really friends, I wish you, all the best, and may we meet again.

--- --- ---

I Have My First Badge.

2010-10-17T08:33:00.002+08:00

I Have Been Thinking Of Travelling.

2010-09-24T21:29:00.030+08:00

I went walking around ION, wrong decision.

Field cap (example)

I saw field caps sold everywhere. Its so tempting to buy one and cover my crew cut, even though I don't really like to put things over my head. I think it looks good on me and its the fashion now. I want one.

Fred Perry tee (link)

I have seen people wearing these walking around. It looks so good. Like a plain easy design and who doesn't like simplicity. Gives the impression of being straightforward and classical, something I desire.

Yves Saint Laurent YSL tee

Imagine this and a pair of normal washout jeans. Add a pair of torn chuck taylor and maybe a thin belt. Put a little hair product and voila. Easy does it. Need I say more?

Plain white crew shirt

I'm not trying to be funny here. I am talking about a piece of apparel which is even more simple to the eyes. No need for big logo prints, no need for anything to be printed. You can match this with a pair of pants, a pair of bermuda pants, a pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, a pair of tailored pants, a pair of boardshorts; simply anything. How can you not like to own something like that.

Instant camera
Either Polaroid300

Or Holga

I feel busy all the time. I no longer have the time to look at pictures and albums, so I think this is good; the photos are ready in a short short time. You can write things at the bottom of the polariod films and the size is convenient; I can stuff the films between pages of a book, in my wallet, maybe in my pencilcase. Holga photos are nice too, but polaroid is still priority.

Ipod
Either Ipodnano

Or Ipodtouch

My current ipodnano is three years old, I think. It is the second generation, don't laugh. Its 4GB makes me crazy. So I think I need a new one, just that the new ones do not have sleep timer, which is very very important to me. Anyway, can someone find me an ipod that downloads music by itself, like maybe it have a brain and knows what I like and find them online because I do not like doing all the downloading myself. I am lazy this way.

Shades/sunglasses
Either Half Jacket

Or Monster Pup

From Oakley. I think everyone needs to have at least one pair of shades in Singapore. Singapore is too sunny. And people my age, engaging in so much outdoor activities, it is a necessity. Even if you don't go sailing or rockclimbing, putting on a pair during suntanning is also good, blocking all that ultraviolet rays that may destroy your eyes. Sidenote, it boosts your coolness too.

Shoes

I think I need white canvas plimsole and I saw this pair of shoes with its small but outstanding logo at the side, nearer to the ankle, then I decided, this is it. Fred Perry Coxson Canvas Plimsole Dark Green. (Its white, but the effect I chose during photoshopping made it go off-colour.)

Wallet

I need a wallet. But I am hard to please. It needs to be small, having a size of a cardholder, but it needs to be wide enough to put notes unfolded. It must not have a lot of compartments, maybe three slots to put cards on each side, that's all. It must be slim and leather. Maybe a good print or monogram would be a bonus. Can you see why am I still stuck with my Billabong cardholder. Hahha.

Blackberry Torch

I need a good phone. I have been craving for a qwerty phone. And now that I have to look for non-camera phones, I think Blackberry would satisfy me the best. The older editions come without camera originally. And they have the roller at the side which I think is good. But I do not want to buy a secondhand phone. ):

Earphones
(In the process of editing.)

If I were to buy all these things, how much would I spend. ): And I just realised that the things I want most badly are at the bottom.

Sigh, I need a sugar mama.

I Particularly Hate Being Accused.

2010-09-18T16:16:00.006+08:00

9:09

I Think My Nose Is A Little Crooked.

2010-09-07T18:25:00.002+08:00

I will take myself away from you. I wanted to borrow myself for a while, but no, I will take myself away from you.

I Think I Like You Better When You Keep Your Mouth Shut.

2010-09-06T18:35:00.010+08:00

I was spending my block leave at home, watching movies after movies.

Scrolling down the list of movies a website stream, I came across Aftershock, a movie my mum told me about. I asked her whether she wanted to watch it and we sat down at the dining table in the morning today.

We ended up sniffing during the two hours.

I must say, this is a very very touching movie, and to put two 'very's beside each other should show the extent I am trying to put across. It showed humanity, something that would warm your heart, or even make it cringe. It tugs your heartstrings.

Do not spurn or snub this movie just because it is not in English; I came to realise that many asian movies are able to move me to tears, not many western ones do.

Anyway, do take some time off your books, your notes, or your documents you are working on and click on the link below to watch it. It's worth the time.

When a mother is informed by the rescue team that, as her 7-year old twins are buried under the debris close to each other, digging one out would result in further collapse of the wreckage on the other, she is forced to make the most difficult decision of her life.

Aftershock

I Live Here.

2010-08-09T15:26:00.005+08:00

For this wonderful nation that made me wondered why was I in the jungle for the past months, happy birthday.

I Hate My Oc.

2010-08-01T15:12:00.000+08:00

You came up to me and asked if we could be friends. You startled me.

I Play The Saxophone.

2010-07-18T12:00:00.003+08:00

I cannot tolerate ugly people; they need to be sent away.

Wonderful Life.

2010-07-07T23:16:00.012+08:00

Sentosa Tomorrow.

2010-07-07T22:47:00.002+08:00

I am making myself sit down and write this.

I think I haven't been using my brains for too long. Its refusing to work. I don't think anymore. The considerations are all practical. I don't bother about the meanings, the reasons or the nature of things. Its just accepting and making do with things. Its like the situation where Life gives you lemon and you just take the lemon. You don't even bother making lemonade.

I am having a very bad job currently.

Anyway, I am missing my music quite badly. My 80s music.

Someone Told Me.

2010-06-26T23:34:00.001+08:00

I remember years ago, someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love.

I did not.

Dusk After Dawn.

2010-06-06T12:05:00.004+08:00

I'm so lazy to write anything, but I was given an essay to do.

I HAVE TO SUBMIT AN ESSAY FOR THE ARMY.

Okay, I think I have to stop, because I may end up complaining or being negative. Anyway, it is just 4 more weeks, then recruit no more. Hahahha.

But I Think My Father Is The Same.

2010-04-11T22:59:00.003+08:00

Everything is in a rush.

I haven't got time to plan it out. I feel disorganised and I don't like it. I think you can catch me being illogical or something. Now, now. I got to think of tomorrow.

Even If, Even If.

2010-04-05T17:52:00.006+08:00

I think I forgiven you, though I think you will never forgive me. Its too much for you to forgive me.

I Try.

2010-03-21T13:16:00.000+08:00

I called you, I called Charles.

I Will Behave Myself.

2010-03-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

It is another random day, when I just saw a picture of the HTC Desire. And I got into a mobile phone craze all over again.

I am not really pleased with my phone and I had always wanted a change. I mean, even if my phone could make me happy, I think I will still want a change of phone. Everybody always want a change of phone.

Then, I had always been attracted to Blackberrys, even though I don't think I need the email functions, but they have the most awesome qwerty keypad, so it was Blackberry-craze for close to three months.

But now, slanky Motorola is offering something pleasant-looking. Oh, dear old Motorola never fails to attract my attention. But I don't think they have it here in Singapore. I'm talking about Motorola Milestone.

And what do I have for choices? A non-camera phone.

Learn Something Today.

2010-03-17T20:53:00.000+08:00

I think you and me should do this again, hitting the conga.

Its for celebratory, its for rejoicing.

So I Am Not Very Sure.

2010-03-15T22:39:00.002+08:00

I kind of stopped blogging because truthfully, I didn't really want to keep up with this. A blog is not something you have to be responsible for, responsibility being that kind of attitude you have to have, to keep up with updating and things like that.

But somehow today, I just feel like writing, writing on this plain silly old wall of mine.

I have stopped working, which is ☺ for me, I mean, only my dear colleagues will understand my agony.

I have gotten back my Singapore-Cambridge GCE A Level results. Not what I expected, but I guess I have to be contented. And of course, now, I have to make a choice as to which undergraduate programme I would really prefer. I think I have a clue what I would want to put in the forms, but seriously, it is bothering me because I have this feeling that I am making uninformed choices.

So I am not very sure.

I Will Tell You A Story And You Must Believe It Even Though It Goes Against You.

2010-01-26T14:48:00.001+08:00

Ruby stepped toward him. "Edward," she said softly. It was the first time she had called him by name. "Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.

"Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do you remember the lightness you felt when you first arrived in heaven?"

Eddie did. Where is my pain?

"That's because no one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel it."

She touched his hand.

"You need to forgive your father."

I Want Your Revenge.

2010-01-21T20:06:00.004+08:00

I am very pissed off now why am I scolded everyday why are stupid customers calling me and telling me starhub is cheating their money and they don't want to let the other managers do a callback why are customers so retarded they threaten to complain because if they really complain who cares why customer threatened to terminate all their services with starhub if we don't callback in 5 minutes because if they really do that they are the one at the disadvantage with all the early termination charges and the change of numbers and why do I have stupid colleagues and two-faced and loud and weird colleagues and competitive colleagues and talkative colleagues and why can customers just call in and scold people just because they are pissed off and what is my relationship with nuisance calls and the network problem and why are there stupid people who wants to fake accent and try to make you screwup so they can scream at you and why do I have a 1330 to 2300 shift but I do not get paid 1.5 or 2 times more why they think we are like the reserve and why someone else didn't followup and i get the scolding and why other people can be stupid and I can't and why customers like to challenge you and why I can't wrapup too long and why I have to be monitored and why starhub does not want to hire permanent staffs because I think so many problems with the calls are actually done with people like me because starhub don't treat us well.

If You Found Yourself, Come Back Soon.

2010-01-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

So far she had not spoken - indeed she had been given no chance, but very soon now speech would be forced from her. Already, beneath the affection of her family, I could sense latent hostility. Even in Magda's graceful play-acting there had been, I fancied, a subtle malice. And there were other darker undercurrents that had not yet come to the surface.

The Buddha, Geoff And Me.

2010-01-15T18:39:00.005+08:00

I read an awesome book. A book review is not due from me, but I guess this book is too good to keep it to myself. I think it is worth sharing.

Actually, it discuss about Buddhism and the life principles it offer. It takes a perspective of a skeptic, so I guess people who ain't Buddhist should try to follow the story. It shed some light on issues in life we encounter and it encourages us to be the best we can be. It brings me new insights I haven't recognise and provides nice quotes we can base our lives on.

I think I will post bits of the book here, some paragraphs I really think worth taking note of. Try to pick them between the posts. Its interesting, I supposed, keeps your mind active.

And, while looking for the bookcover, I found the audiobook. Surprise surprise. I think I am going to download all the audio and let them be permanent files with me. Anyway, the chapters for the audiobook are posted below and I genuinely hope you benefit from this, though I haven't listen to any of it.

A sidenote, keeping open-minded will definitely allow you to benefit greatly. Have fun listening.

She Should Be A Slut.

2010-01-07T23:06:00.004+08:00

Okay. I have to list three things that made me happy today.

I spent lots of time at work sending emails, most of them are just chats between my batchmates. Work is always IM session. These emails are so funny; they made me happy.

I ate ice-cream today. It feels so good; it made me happy.

I sat on the bus doing nothing but staring out. It feels good not doing anything; it made me happy.

I have to keep up with this. Maybe I will be much positive-minded after the contract ends. Now, its like a count-down to the next offday and restday. (-_-)

Now I Feel Good.

2010-01-01T17:48:00.002+08:00

I was sitting at a big table, you know, those you have at Chinese restaurants, big and round, like how people thought the moon was, big, round and flat.

I was sitting opposite an aunt. She's one of those people in the family that talks too much. Every extended family have one. It is something that every extended family must have. A compulsory, sort of. A rule set by God.

So she's speaking, I mean, that's what she was made for. To speak forever and forever. To talk and talk.

Then I looked at her husband sitting next to her. And something came to me. Would one ever be embarrassed of his / her other half. Because I thought, to have someone acting like a know-it-all as a spouse, that's not really good, is it? No, to me that's not good altogether. Its not good.

And of course, being in this era where everyone is self-centred, I thought of myself. I thought, had I been embarrassed over someone. I wasn't sure, but I thought I did. I felt bad. But I am glad.

Some Words Would Be Perfect.

2009-12-31T18:43:00.002+08:00

I don't know what happened this year. Did I take the A levels? I didn't, did I?

I can't recall anything.

I am sad. I can't do a reflection and I am sad. I do reflections on Decemberthirtyfirsts. But I can't do it this year. I don't feel sad not being able to reflect, I feel sad because I don't have a reflection. I just need a reflection.

Am I supposed to feel sad I got no chance of reflecting, rather? I shake my head to that.

If You Found Yourself, Come Back Soon.

2009-12-28T22:31:00.003+08:00

I think I like that idea. All that's good, are meant for me. You can try to let me share it with you. I just got to say, its not easy to make me do that. And no, you can't trade love for all those. What do you take love for. God.

Anyways, i got to do a little update on my life. I just got to announce something to the world, like I'm a popstar or something. Then people would love me and camp outside my house. Then I would be kind and offer them food and drinks and sign their autographs. But I have a bad habit, that will be me in this fantasy of course. I would *something-something*. Ask me politely, I will tell you what *something-something* is. There's a big round marble table in a high-ceiling room. The flowers arranged will fill the table and I will never look at them. Sometimes, I will pull a stalk out and put it in my blazer pocket. I will put some water in the pocket too.

Righttt, I'm working and I think my work sucks but any work would suck in my opinion. I would attempt to start work late after graduation from university. That's an idea I have. I got to refine and make it a perfect plan.

So I am pretty bored.

I Forgot To Hug You.

2009-12-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

I don't mean to say this, but you are not simple. You ain't simple and that is dangerous.

This is direct. I like being direct. I don't like beating around the bush. I think that is very stupid, very stupid indeed. Why would you want to beat around the bush. So your words won't hurt people? That's not intelligent. We should hurt each other. It brings out ourselves. Don't act civilised. Poets are not civilised. But hurting has nothing with civilised behaviour. They are separate issues. Gambling is similar to hurting and gambling is similar to dreaming. They should be unconcerning to our behaviour. Our behaviour can hurt people though. That's good. I like how this is possible. I like using my behaviour to hurt people.

Because people hurt me, because.

Too High A Note To Hit.

2009-12-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

I don't mind loving you. I just want you to see how I love someone.

I Liked Sex In My Book And You Cannot Criticise That.

2009-12-25T23:06:00.003+08:00

I want to go down on you. I want to do a Slurpee.

And I want to get a tongue piercing and do another Slurpee.

Today Is Christmas Eve.

2009-12-23T22:27:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I find myself giving a very complicated answer. Something I haven't really thought of, but it comes to me like how Archimedes proclaimed 'Eureka'. Eureka, indeed.

And I amaze myself. And its tough to impress me, for anybody including myself. That's what I think, because very often, I go uh-huh when people telling me a discovery or something great. Unless I am in the mood for drama, which I am most of the time when I am with the people I am comfortable with.

But anyways. I am amazed at myself two times today, within an hour. I feel so great. Hohoho.

On a sidenote, I haven't been blogging. But I always feel like blogging. I always get this writer's flow within me. Always up to create a paragraph. I think I create very good paragraphs. Just that no one understands them. Its good. Its good that way. I never want people to know what is it about. Its not good, its unhealthy. In the back of my head, I believe it would get to whoever understands. It goes down, deep down. But I don't know where, just down. I think I am disturbed this way. Like how this paragraph is very much disturbing. It disturbs me, this paragraph.

I think of something and I made it to a sentence such as something that goes along the lines of: The dog is red. I thought of that sentence for a long time. Its the only sentence I don't forget. Its stuck in my mind. I know why the dog is red, and I think its very appropriate to something I know. But you don't know, you only know the dog is red. But whose dog, you don't know. Is it really a dog, you do not know about that, but I am sure you never really question the object of interest here. You really believe its something about dogs right? But no. Not about dogs. Why would I talk about dogs.

I think I have to stop.

My table is very messy and I think I need clothes. Even if I don't wear them, I need clothes. I need colourful clothes. Maybe a yellow shirt, a dark green shirt. I need something, but I don't exactly need this. I just want to have something.

Now I remember. I don't want something old, I don't want something new. I want something old.

There is a difference.

We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, walking in a winter wonderland. You need to teach me, the Eskimo way, but I got an idea. I can share it with you.

Essay Question: Discuss Your Heart.

2009-12-09T15:55:00.003+08:00

A horrible addiction. To songs. To Sarah McLachlan's songs.

Its so sad. Its so quiet. Its a little complicated and very confused. It wants to say something, but not directly. No, it can't convey thoughts and feelings straight. It can't, it won't, it mustn't, it should never never do that. It would lost its meaning. Its unique and its special. Mind you unique and special ain't the same. But who bothers to see how it is so.

Spend All Your Time Waiting.

2009-12-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

I need some distraction. Oh beautiful, release.

Memory seeps from my veins.

Let me be empty. And weightless and, maybe.

I'll find some peace tonight.

Sluts With Bastards.

2009-12-04T07:46:00.003+08:00

How can I forget your girlfriend has a huge hair. Maybe you can ask her to try on Amy Winehouse's makeup style. Perfect for you and your act.

What a joke,.

You Love Her So Much.

2009-11-24T23:52:00.003+08:00

A nice day out and a day filled with laughing. I need we should do this more often. With Retardeds (Woohoo, new name.).

I can't say I finished my exams already but I feel relaxed.

But in other sense, I don't feel relaxed at all. Its a funny feeling, a feeling of uncertainty, a feeling of dread, a feeling of fear, a fear of what's coming for me.

I haven't got things planned out for myself and I don't really know what I want to do. But I have a rough idea that I do not want to have something similar to the past. I hate that part.

As for now, maybe I should try to think of ways to fill my iTunes with songs (Its empty and I will prove it to you.), get something to wear for prom, and clear my room, my brain and all the trash, literally and otherwise.

I am satisfied with my efficient planning.

I Want Your Ugly.

2009-11-17T13:13:00.001+08:00

Come on people, time for some entertainment!

You Are Breaking.

2009-11-16T18:13:00.004+08:00

IWantToWatchParanormalActivitySoIWillBeSoScaredICan'tSleepAndI CanMugTheWholeNightThrough.

For Prom.

2009-11-01T18:28:00.002+08:00

I went 'FUCK' when I saw the first one. Damn those hairs on the neck on the toes.

But looking at it long enough, and getting away from how disgusting it looks, its actually a brilliant idea huh. Maybe you fit your toes into those of the shoe. And you wriggle them when people are looking. HEHE.

Could've Been My Lover.

2009-10-22T20:37:00.000+08:00

The flowers you gave me are just about to die.